Confidant Ministry | David Akerman — Pastoral Counselling, Coaching & Support

The Reality

Leadership was never meant
to be carried alone.

Christian leaders carry a calling unlike any other. They hold the weight of their congregations, organisations, and communities — often in silence, and at enormous personal cost. They are expected to have answers when they are questioning, to be strong when they are breaking, and to pour out when their own wells are dangerously dry.

Despite working hard to support the mental health of others, too often pastors and leaders lack the necessary support for their own. Research from Barna Group, the Fuller Institute, and Lifeway Research consistently identifies burnout, isolation, and loneliness as the defining challenges of pastoral life. While most pastors persevere, a third have seriously considered walking away — and the majority feel their mental health is not adequately supported by their church. Specialist, confidential care for church leaders remains significantly underprovided.

It is time for more churches to invest in the mental health of their leaders. Healthy leaders lead healthier churches.

Isolation

Most leaders feel profoundly alone — surrounded by people, yet genuinely unseen by any of them.

Burnout

Exhaustion, loss of joy, and compassion fatigue quietly erode even the most gifted and faithful leaders.

Considering Leaving

Many leaders quietly consider walking away from ministry — often long before anyone around them notices.

"The emotionally unhealthy leader is someone who operates in a continuous state of emotional and spiritual deficit, lacking emotional maturity and a being-with-God sufficient to sustain their doing-for-God."

Peter Scazzero — The Emotionally Healthy Leader

Our Therapeutic Approach

A model built for the
whole person.

The heart of Confidant Ministry is to work as a skilled confidant to pastors and leaders — integrating pastoral counselling, coaching and support with deep ministry experience. The result: mentally healthy leaders who lead healthier churches.

The pastoral and relational framework used is the Waverley Integrative Framework, taught at Waverley Abbey College and developed through the work of Selwyn Hughes and Dr Larry Crabb. It draws on a broad range of Christian thinkers and practitioners to delineate a blueprint of human functioning from the teachings of Scripture.

Rather than isolating the emotional from the spiritual, this framework understands that all core aspects of human functioning exist together — and that growth comes from understanding how our thoughts, emotions, choices, and relationships serve our deepest needs. Lasting change requires bringing these patterns into awareness and developing healthier ways of living and leading.

This is not merely a coaching technique. It is a way of understanding what it means to be fully human — made in the image of God, shaped by experience, and growing in grace.

The Waverley Integrative Framework

A relational, biblical, whole-person approach to human functioning and therapeutic care

Core Relational Values

Genuineness

Unconditional acceptance

Empathy

Core Aspects of Human Functioning

Relational

Physical

Emotional

Volitional

Rational

Spiritual

Core Needs that Drive a Person's Life

Love and security

Self-worth and value

Significance and purpose

What We Explore in Session

The territory of
genuine leadership health.

Each session is shaped by where the client is and what they wish to work through. Over the course of a programme, a number of key themes will be addressed — among them the following.

Boundaries

The goal of healthy boundaries is to know who and when others can enter our various public and private spaces. Leaders often say yes or no to the wrong things and need to learn to manage their boundaries with wisdom and grace.

Family

A healthy family life is a top priority for the Christian leader — but it does not flourish without attentiveness, any more than a garden flourishes without being tended. Leaders need to know how to genuinely prioritise the people closest to them.

III

The Leader's Shadow

The psychiatrist Carl Jung coined 'the shadow' to describe parts of a person they choose to reject and repress — but which remain, influencing them in ways they do not fully understand. Leaders must address these blind spots in their self-understanding.

Emotions

Emotions can be wrongly labelled, poorly understood, and processed in ways that are damaging. Leaders must lead in managing their emotional lives — not suppressing or indulging them, but understanding and directing them well.

Core Beliefs

Thoughts are like branches of a tree — visible evidence of a deeper root system beneath the surface. These core beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world inform everything we think and do. Leaders need to address the roots as well as the branches.

Vision

Leaders can be excellent at setting goals yet naive to the ways in which their personality styles and skill-sets shape or undermine the goals they set. Understanding this can transform frustration in ministry into the joy of pursuing a clear and sustainable vision.

VII

Defence Mechanisms

The way leaders learn to deflect, displace, deny, and project in tough times can create secondary problems worse than the original difficulty. Increased self-awareness helps leaders manage themselves — and others — more healthily in the midst of pressure.

VIII

Decision Making

Healthy decision making is not only about choosing the right things but being wiser about when, where, why, and how we choose. Leaders make decisions that affect many others — the effects of which can last for generations. We must learn to decide well.

Pain and Trauma

Pain and trauma do not only manifest in things obviously categorised as harmful. They can manifest in things many would observe to be good and right. Understanding the pain we carry is vital if we are to live as freely as possible from its influence.

Communication

Good communication involves a high degree of self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Many leaders — even very good leaders — have blind spots in their communication style. This work offers the opportunity to understand and reduce the impact of those blind spots.

Conflict Resolution

Often conflict is driven by unknown triggers and factors — and people can lose perspective and agency, advancing towards or avoiding conflict for the wrong reasons. Leaders must learn to manage themselves in conflict and understand what drives their responses to it.

XII

Work-Life Balance

Sacrifice as a leader is both inevitable and healthy — but what, how much, and when to sacrifice is where there is constant need for review. Leaders need to lead with moral authority in every area of life, including family, friendship, and rest.

Services

One ministry.
Two expressions.

Confidant Ministry offers two specialist services: pastoral counselling, coaching and support for Christian leaders, and pastoral church consultation.

Primary Service · Headline Ministry

Pastoral Counselling, Coaching & Support
for Christian Leaders

A confidential, structured, and deeply personal pastoral counselling, coaching and support service for pastors, church leaders, ministry staff, charity executives, and Christians in workplace leadership. Available online UK-wide and in person in Warrington, Cheshire.

Book a Discovery Session Who It's For

Sliding scale £45–60 per session available for leaders in genuine financial hardship

Discovery Session

£60

60 minutes · no commitment

◆A confidential first conversation
◆No obligation to continue
◆Fee credited if you proceed
◆Online or in person

The Pastoring Pastors Plan

Who pastors the pastor? The Pastoring Pastors Plan is a structured pastoral support arrangement for denominations, church networks, and multi-site churches who wish to invest collectively in the mental health and wellbeing of their ministers. The network contracts with Confidant Ministry centrally; each minister accesses their support individually, privately, and in complete confidence.

One Pastor

£1,250

per year

10 sessions · treatment plan · workbook · priority access

Two Pastors

£2,500

per year

Full individual support for two ministers · each entirely confidential

Three Pastors

£3,600

per year

Full individual support for three ministers · each entirely confidential

Four or More

Bespoke

by arrangement

Includes optional annual Pastoral Health Overview (anonymised)

How it works

The denomination or network holds the contract and pays centrally. Each minister is assigned their own confidential support directly with the practitioner. No session content is ever shared with the contracting body.

What ministers receive

Each minister in the plan receives 10 individual pastoral counselling and coaching sessions per year at £175/session, their own personalised treatment plan, the Confidant Ministry programme workbook, and priority scheduling.

The network's guarantee

Networks of four or more may request an annual Pastoral Health Overview — an anonymised, aggregated summary of collective wellbeing indicators — providing accountability without compromising individual confidentiality.

⛪

Pastoral Church Consultation

Church & Pastoral
Consultation Services

Experienced pastoral support for churches navigating difficult seasons — conflict, crisis, leadership transition, or the need for a wise and independent outside voice. Discreet, grounded, and biblically faithful.

Consultation Services

Initial Discovery Call

30-minute confidential conversation

Free

Single Consultation Session

90-minute focused session, online or in person

from £135

Half-Day Church Consultation

On-site visit with leadership team

from £405

Full-Day Church Consultation

Comprehensive visit with written report

from £675

Monthly Pastoral Advisory Retainer

Two 60-min calls per month plus email access

from £270/mo

Crisis Consultation

Urgent pastoral or leadership crisis support

from £180

Leadership team conflict and relational breakdown

Pastoral crisis response and support

Leadership transition and succession planning

Church culture, vision, and congregational health

Independent outside perspective for difficult decisions

All engagements strictly confidential

Request a Consultation

Who We Serve

Built for those who lead
in the name of Christ.

The Burning Pastor

Mid-career church leaders

5–20 years in ministry, carrying significant responsibility and experiencing the quiet erosion of burnout. Has never had a genuinely safe and confidential space to be honest. Pastoral counselling, coaching and support is the primary door in.

The Emerging Leader

Leaders stepping into new roles

Stepping into significant leadership and wanting to start well — building healthy foundations before the pressure builds. May benefit from coaching, pastoral counselling, or structured reflection to build healthy foundations.

The Hidden Carrier

Christian leaders beyond the church

A Christian executive, charity leader, or workplace professional whose leadership context is rarely understood by church-based support. Pastoral counselling, coaching and support all available.

The Struggling Congregation

Churches in a difficult season

Leadership teams navigating conflict, transition, or crisis. Churches in need of an independent, experienced, and discreet outside voice. Pastoral consultation available across the UK.

The Ministry Couple

Married couples in leadership

Ministry places unique and sometimes severe pressure on marriages. Specialist couples pastoral counselling and coaching support is available for those navigating the particular challenges of leading together.

Your Practitioner

Someone who understands
the world you inhabit.

David Akerman

BA (Hons) · Dip. Christian Leadership · Level 4 Dip. Counselling · MTh. Contextual Theology (Oxon)

BA (Hons) — University of Wales Diploma in Christian Leadership — Mattersey Hall Level 4 Diploma in Counselling — Waverley Abbey College MTh. Contextual Theology — University of Oxford Assemblies of God — Accredited Minister BACP-Supervised Practitioner Church Planter

"I have sat in the chair you are sitting in. I know what it is to lead, to struggle quietly, and to wonder whether anyone safe enough truly exists. I built Confidant Ministry to be that person."

With over fifteen years of experience in senior church ministry, David is well acquainted with the pain, politics, and pitfalls that come with being a pastor and leader. He is also keenly aware that despite all the challenges they face, too often pastors and leaders lack the necessary support for their own mental health — despite working hard to support the mental health of others. Confidant Ministry was founded to address this disparity directly.

David completed a Level 4 Counselling Diploma at Waverley Abbey College in 2002 — accredited through the London School of Theology — and subsequently gained supervised clinical experience with Reach Counselling Service in Liverpool, before working in a rehabilitation centre for young men with addiction issues. He holds a Bachelor's Degree from Mattersey Hall Bible College and the University of Wales, and a Master of Theology in Contextual Theology from the University of Oxford.

He has served as Director of Pastoral Care in a thriving church in the North West, and spent three years as Senior Pastor of an international church in the Principality of Monaco, ministering to people from across the French Riviera. He subsequently planted a church in Warrington — an experience that gave him first-hand insight into the full arc of Christian leadership, from the vision and cost of starting something from nothing to the relational and pastoral complexity of a growing congregation. Over the course of his ministry, he has worked with an extremely wide and varied caseload of pastoral and personal difficulties.

David is an accredited Assemblies of God minister and receives specialist supervision from a BACP-accredited counsellor.

Having laid down the lead role of the church he planted in order to give himself fully to this work, David now serves on the leadership team of the LifeChurch network. He is blessed with a wonderful wife and three sons.

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What leaders say
about the work.

I do take some issue recommending Dave to anyone, purely because it means he may be less available for us as a church to utilise! Dave carries that rare balance of high intellect and EQ. He is therefore insightful, compassionate and succinct in helping people heal and become more whole. I couldn't recommend him more.

Mike

Pastor · United Kingdom

Everyone needs someone to talk to. However, as a church leader it can be really difficult to have someone to talk through difficult issues with. In Dave I have found someone who understands the pressures of ministry life and the challenges of leadership. Dave provides a space to talk, listen, think and prayerfully respond. His training, wisdom and experience provide a firm foundation for his approach to counselling. I am personally very grateful for Dave's support in working through some of the bumps in the road of ministry and life.

Andy

Pastor · United Kingdom

Dave has helped me and my team work through some tricky pastoral and leadership issues. We are very grateful that there are people like Dave who can work in such a specialist space of ministry. I have no hesitation in recommending Dave. He is a rare and important gift to the Church and will definitely benefit any leaders who seek his support.

Adam

Pastor · United Kingdom

Highly recommend Dave's ability to both challenge and encourage. With Dave's experience, understanding and knowledge he was able to guide and support through some very difficult personal and leadership issues, while enabling me to look honestly at situations and not take on responsibility for things that were not mine to carry. Truly grateful for his support over the years.

Liz

Leader · United Kingdom

Testimonials are reproduced with the permission of the individuals named. Names are given as provided.

Common Questions

Everything you might wish
to know before you begin.

Yes — entirely. Everything shared is held in complete confidence. The only exceptions are where there is a serious risk of harm to yourself or another person, a legal obligation to disclose, or a concern about a child or vulnerable adult. In any such instance, your practitioner will, wherever possible, discuss this with you first. Your church, denomination, employer, and family will never be informed of your engagement with Confidant Ministry without your explicit written consent.

The pastoral and relational framework used is the Waverley Integrative Framework — a relational approach that emphasises genuineness, unconditional acceptance, and empathy, and reflects on all core aspects of human functioning as understood from Scripture: relational, physical, emotional, volitional, rational, and spiritual. Rather than separating the psychological from the spiritual, this framework understands that problems arise when we pursue our deepest needs — love and security, self-worth and value, significance and purpose — in unhealthy ways. The work helps to uncover and address those patterns.

Yes. Many leaders arrange for their church, denomination, or organisation to cover the cost. Invoices can be issued in the organisation's name. The content of your sessions remains entirely confidential regardless of who pays — your employer or church will receive only an invoice, nothing more.

No. You may begin with a Discovery Session and take things from there. Many clients start with individual sessions before committing to the full programme. The 24-month programme is the most comprehensive option — but individual sessions are equally valid, particularly for leaders working through a specific short-term challenge or a season of transition.

A sliding scale of £45–60 per session is available for leaders in genuine financial hardship — those serving small or rural churches, bivocational ministers, or those in a difficult financial season. Please enquire confidentially. We would far rather find a way to support you than allow cost to be the reason a leader does not receive the help they need.

Research consistently shows that online pastoral counselling and coaching is equally effective for the vast majority of clients. Online delivery also removes the geographic barrier, making Confidant Ministry accessible to leaders across the UK. Sessions are conducted via a secure, encrypted video platform. In-person sessions are available in Warrington, Cheshire for those who prefer or require them.

Life happens — and a cancellation policy is not about penalising people, it is about ensuring the practice remains sustainable for everyone. If you need to cancel or rearrange, please give as much notice as possible. Forty-eight hours or more means no charge and the session can be rescheduled at no cost. Cancellations with less than forty-eight hours notice may incur a partial or full charge depending on timing. Full details are set out in the Cancellation Policy you will receive before your first session. In genuine emergencies — a family crisis, hospitalisation, or acute illness — these are always considered with discretion and compassion. Please just communicate as soon as you are able.

It is always worth having a conversation before making any decision to leave — not to talk you out of it, but because the reasons behind it often matter pastorally and personally. Sometimes a wish to stop reflects something important that is worth exploring together. That said, your engagement with the programme is always voluntary. If you wish to exit, the Programme Agreement you sign before beginning sets out the terms clearly, including the natural exit points at the end of each term. For those paying termly, each term boundary offers a clean and straightforward exit point with thirty days written notice. Sessions already completed are charged at the individual session rate for early withdrawals. A closing session is always offered wherever possible, as endings matter in pastoral and coaching work.

Yes — before your first programme session begins, you will be asked to sign a Programme Agreement. This is a straightforward document that sets out the structure of the programme, the session schedule, payment terms, cancellation and withdrawal terms, and the mutual commitments of the practitioner and the client. It is not designed to be restrictive — it is designed to give clarity and protection to both parties so that the work can happen in the best possible conditions. You will have the opportunity to ask questions about any aspect of it before signing. Nothing begins without your full and informed consent.

You carry others.
Who carries you?

Does any of this
sound familiar?

Not a typo —
a deliberate choice.

Leadership was never meant
to be carried alone.

A safe place for those
who lead in his name.

A model built for the
whole person.

The territory of
genuine leadership health.

One ministry.
Two expressions.

The Pastoring Pastors Plan

Built for those who lead
in the name of Christ.

Simple to begin.
Transformative over time.

Someone who understands
the world you inhabit.

What leaders say
about the work.

Everything you might wish
to know before you begin.

The first step is simply
reaching out.

You carry others.Who carries you?

Does any of thissound familiar?

Not a typo —a deliberate choice.

Leadership was never meantto be carried alone.

A safe place for thosewho lead in his name.

A model built for thewhole person.

The territory ofgenuine leadership health.

One ministry.Two expressions.

The Pastoring Pastors Plan

Built for those who leadin the name of Christ.

Simple to begin.Transformative over time.

Someone who understandsthe world you inhabit.

What leaders sayabout the work.

Everything you might wishto know before you begin.

The first step is simplyreaching out.

You carry others.
Who carries you?

Does any of this
sound familiar?

Not a typo —
a deliberate choice.

Leadership was never meant
to be carried alone.

A safe place for those
who lead in his name.

A model built for the
whole person.

The territory of
genuine leadership health.

One ministry.
Two expressions.

Built for those who lead
in the name of Christ.

Simple to begin.
Transformative over time.

Someone who understands
the world you inhabit.

What leaders say
about the work.

Everything you might wish
to know before you begin.

The first step is simply
reaching out.